One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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