i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I need to calm my uterus...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
