Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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