Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
