You work out of a Hotel?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
