These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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