i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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