Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
