i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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