You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
