i may or may not be watching the land before time
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I could fuck to npr.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
