yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
