from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
