walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
