you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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