I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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