You really coming over, don't trick.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
