community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
