Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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