my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
