He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
