It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
