Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
