wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
