There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
