yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
