what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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