My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
