it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
