How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
