u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
