I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize