Apparently you make a good broom.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
