Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
