hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
