then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
