the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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