You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
