She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I need a beard to bite.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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