based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize