i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I need to calm my uterus...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
