Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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