What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize