But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
