i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
