Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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