My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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