You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You peed on a flamingo?!?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
