Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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