Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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