I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
