I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
