just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
