I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
