are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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