dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
4 words: hood of his car
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
