You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
