So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
