a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
