In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
