Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
