Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
