hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
