Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
